We all have hard stuff to deal with. Sometimes it feels like ours is the hardest or that others always have it much easier.
Let me share with you what I’m learning as I walk thru this hard season in my life!
Not because I’ve got it all figured out or because I need to prove my hard is the hardest but because the hard is a sacred space where I am stretched and lean into God and His infinite grace and sovereignty.
It’s in that sacred space that I am finding love, I am alert to my own lacking and weakness and that’s when God can display His glory!
For those that are just beginning to follow along, I have stage 4 Metastatic Melanoma. It began over 6 years with a very small spot on my shoulder but it just recently moved to my brain and hilar. I’ve had brain surgery to remove the tumor behind my right eye and now in the process of further treatment.
I am reminded daily that we humans are all flawed! The news reminds us of that especially in this election cycle. Lest we think the presidential candidates are the only humans that are flawed, I would submit that we all are and we all have a need for the grace supplied to us by the blood that was shed for us on the cross by Jesus.
I do my best to stick close to Him. I’m grateful that He has left His Spirit to dwell within me.The gift of salvation enables me to walk in close relationship with Him everyday and be assured that I will eventually live with Him forever in heaven.
The hard season in my life right now doesn’t cause me to question Him or His goodness but instead allows me to see Him in ways I might not have otherwise.
I am particularly struck as I walk thru the process of arranging and coordinating all the different appointments and treatments that my doctor has encouraged me to.
It can be a minute by minute by minute struggle as each phone conversation or interaction with humans in the medical profession can produce frustration and anxiety.
The enemy can take those moments and lead my thoughts to places that God would not want me to camp out in.
God knows that I am weak in that area…that I am easily frustrated when things don’t seem to go smoothly and humans don’t seem to have the answers or are unable to offer empathy. He has demonstrably shown me in the past few days that He is in control and at work….even when I can’t see it and it feels like everything is falling apart.
When I am completely discouraged and frustrated , I receive a text or a message, a note , a card or a phone call. Each one has said…God has placed you on my heart today and I am praying for you!!!!
What an awesome act of love that God would think so much of me that He would place me on the mind of others. Beyond awesome to me is that those dear ones would act quickly and decisively, without needing to know details ,knowing that He already knows all about the situation and that when His people engage in prayer with Him, the forces of heaven are immediately engaged here on earth to accomplish His great purposes and display His glory!
When I try to figure things out in my own understanding, frustration and anxiety mount. When I allow Him to work, He makes a way for His purposes!
I don’t have any idea what tomorrow holds, but I know that I know that I know, that whatever comes…I am His beloved, He is at work and present with me always and He promises never to leave me or forsake me. That is more than anyone on this earth can promise or give and it is true of my life, your life and even the lives of those that haven’t accepted His gift of grace. Why, because He created us….in His image…… and He who began a good work in me will be faithful to complete it!
I hope you know Him well! I hope you lean on Him particularly in the hard things but in the normal day to day as well!
To God be the glory…great things He has done!